Saturday, April 30, 2011

Dress Profile: First Among Many

Okay, so... I will occasionally share dresses I like for ME on here, as well. Bear in mind that, if I'm sharing it, I legitimately like the dress; in other words, be sensitive to my feelings with your opinions! BUT, I want you to be honest if you have a practical concern with the thing. I don't have to go dress shopping for awhile yet, but I'm casting my eyes around to things that I think are interesting so that, at the very least, I go into my first dress appointment with a couple of defined ideas of what I like and what I hate.

I really don't want to have a thoroughly traditional gown. I like things that are unique and unexpected; I like texture or visual interest... not necessarily of the beaded variety, but I won't count such things out. More importantly, I like anything that's under $1000, and by as much as possible. That's what I like the most. This wedding is becoming more expensive by the second--and we haven't even purchased anything yet!

This morning I had a 35 minute conversation with my FML, Debi, who has fallen completely in love with (now) Princess Catherine's wedding dress. (Who hasn't?) She wanted me to know that knock-offs are quickly becoming available and she told me a couple of designers who were producing them for under $1K. Now, you may recall that Kate had sleeves... and that I'm getting married in July. I'm just sayin'... Nevertheless, I went online to check out a couple of the designers Debi mentioned and to look at one I had seen myself. Mori Lee was the knock-off I first saw and I thought they did an amazing job with it. Once on their site, I floated around a bit (the knock-off they're coming out with first will be $999) and found a dress I'd seen before.

I saw the following dress on a real bride in a magazine and, as often happens when they profile real brides, they didn't say anything about the designer or price of the dress... and I was pissed, because I really, really wanted to look it up. It caught my eye because the bride was in mid-twirl and the skirt just looked really fun and different. So, I give you Mori Lee 2521, $720.


Obviously, the vertical stripes are what are fascinating the shit out of me on this one.* They have a very slimming effect and are just really different...


And I like that it's got the satin skirt underneath with the sheer/opaque-striped overlay. Again, the twirling bride caught my eye because the overlay lifted up and... it looked like such a fun dress!


The striping also gives the back a lot of interest, which is seriously missing in many of the dresses I've seen. The backs are just blah and, quite frankly, that's what most people are going to be staring at for the longest period of time. I want the back to be interesting.**


Finally, the bodice is nicely fitted, not overly blingy (which is something I kind of hate), but still has some sparkle to it. And, again, the stripes (really, even the criss-crossed ones) are extremely slimming. And I want to look as skinny as my big ol' Germanic, baby-birthing-hipped frame can manage!

So, there is the first "dress I love" that I'm offering up to you. Be kind.

*I will not be doing bizarre stretches at my wedding.
**I won't be playing with my hair weirdly, either.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Suffer the Little Children



Or is it "Make the Little Children Suffer"?

While the great Kilt Kwestion floats above us in the stratosphere, a greater issue has just come up, and one more significant in terms of our budget. All things considered, the two bridesmaids who currently know about this blog will likely share in the same opinion on this, but I have at least one bridesmaid (should she agree, and I mean Ressler) for whom this issue would be an important one.

What about the children?

Now, before you immediately post a comment, bear with me as I go through the discussion I just had with Trevor. We need to get (a) venue(s) booked ASAP... we're aiming for a July 2012 wedding and those dates should start filling up at most places right about nowish. At this point, it's completely possible that we're going to end up having to book a venue I haven't seen in person yet... which is annoying but potentially necessary. In looking at and comparing prices on venues (most of which require you to use their in-house catering services), we quickly realized that we needed to have a rough total of the number of guests. That's what we figured out tonight.

Earlier today I queried, "Do you think we have to pay the whole $25.95 or whatever per person for dinner thing even if the person in question is a picky 8 year old who will eat half a plateful or a 1 year old who will only eat a handful of crackers?" This is a horrifying thought... paying upwards of $25.00 for a person who eats $2.00 worth of food?! Trevor agreed that this was an excellent point... how much of a person is a child under 12 worth to a catering service?

Now, it's possible that we can work out deals with caterers and that's precisely the kind of wheeling and dealing in which my fiancé (there it is... the first time I've used that word... welcome to my new insanity) is gifted. So that's what we're going to explore first.

HOWEVER. We each did our rough guest lists and noted all children under the age of 12. Ready for it?

50

FIFTY

FIVE-OH

Fiddy.

Fifty kids. Kids belonging to my cousins, his cousins, my friends, his friends, friends of our families... fifty. That's just... that's a lot of freakin' kids. And, though you won't believe this, they're mostly GOOD kids... like, I didn't put down any kids that make me think, "Oh dear God, NO." But that's still a lot of little mouths to feed.

Then Trevor came up with the "essential" versus the "non-essential" kids idea. No non-essential kids. Okay, so... what makes a kid "essential," then? He said, "Only kids who are part of the wedding party or in the immediate families." That takes us down to my niece, his two boys, and his two nephews... so, five. And then we thought, "Well, and maybe the children of members of the wedding party." Which would take us up to (I think) eight.

You're both thinking this is reasonable. Here are my issues.

My extended family lives out of town and will have to trek to Columbus and stay the night... so my cousins who have kids would either have to get overnight baby sitters or, more likely, just not come. And you know what? The cousins this would affect? I WANT them to come. That's the irony... the cousins unaffected by this are the cousins I would prefer to have stay at home. That totally blows.

And my other issue? This means Braedon and Murren Kelly couldn't come. And that is TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE. I told Trevor, those two are like my niece and nephew... not like "non-essential" children! And they live in Georgia, so if they can't come, Keith and Erika aren't coming and I really, really, really want Keith and Erika to come! And Braedon and Murren, for that matter! Also, I have other out of town friends I want there who wouldn't be able to be there if it meant finding someone to watch their children for several days. In other words, I feel like I'm the one whose guest list gets royally screwed over by this whole "non-essential" children idea. His cousins and friends all live in Columbus; they just need to find a sitter who can manage their kids for a couple hours... my people have to try to make accommodations that, I'm afraid, they ultimately just won't bother to make. And I hate that.

So, what do you think? And remember, I LIKE kids... and, more importantly, I like my family and friends who have kids and I want them at my wedding.

Oh, why can't weddings be free?!

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Putting the Tart in Tartan?



I thought about entitling this post "How Do You Solve a Problem Like a Tartan?"

So, you should know that Trevor is considering wearing his ancestral tartan for our wedding. He's found a very reasonably priced tartan rental site (several, actually, and the rental packages include all the accoutrements... right down to the knife that you strap to your sock and the fur murse... I mean sporran), and both his brother and his father are excited at the prospect of acknowledging their Scottish heritage. They're really very Scottish, from the line of the MacGregors, as in Rob Roy. This surprises no one. That their last name is NOT MacGregor is the fault of the Campbell Clan and... well, I'm just not going into the history of it all here.

However. The MacGregor tartan... is interestingly problematic for me. I'm presenting this discussion to y'all so that you can give me ideas and input I haven't thought of or considered. The "Rob Roy" tartan is the strictly black and red one above. It cries out "I'M A LUMBERJACK AND I'M OKAY!" I hadn't really considered having our wedding in the forest and marking the occasion with the odd hewn tree, but I guess that's certainly an option. However, it also limits our options for bridesmaid dress colors to red or black. Or charcoal. As OWU grads, red and black seems a little too "Go Bishops," not to mention the fact that Trevor's brother Josh and sister-in-law Mindy had red and black for their colors. Oh, and I hate red. I like The Reds... if we have it at Great American Ballpark, let's do this thang! But that's actually not the option before me. Alas.

The other tartan above is a more modern MacGregor tartan. And it's a little "Have a Holly Jolly Christmas" for me. Admittedly, I'm a total Whore for Christmas, but I don't really want to evoke my favorite holiday in the middle of the summer on my wedding day. Now, there is also the MacGregor Hunting Tartan:



It's less red-red, maybe a hint more towards burgundy (hunting tartans tend to be a bit duller than the formal clan tartans... you guys, the SHIT I know about Scottish tartans, now...), and it is also one of the tartan options carried by the rental place. But still. What do you guys think? How could I work with this? I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't strangely enthralled by the idea of seeing my future husband standing at the altar in full Scottish regalia... but I'd also be lying if I said I didn't mind making my entire color palette bend to the will of plaid wool. And yet...

I mean, you have to admit that there's something appealing about this look:



And, quite frankly (though this is thoroughly gratuitous), there is something even more appealing about THIS:



(No, unlike Ewan, he's not a MacGregor... but he is a fucking legend.)

Also, there are wedding invitation options...
...and something for me, too!



In the end, Trevor says he's not 100% committed to the idea yet, but it's an option we're exploring. It does seem a little... well, honestly, disgusting to RENT a kilt... you know what they're supposed to wear under those things, right? And we're talking about a man who is, essentially, a human furnace dressing in wool in the middle of summer... which may be a little counterintuitive. But again, we're just exploring our options. Can you imagine how adorable his two boys would look in their little tartan ensembles? And how much fun it will be to listen to Trevor explain to them why they're wearing skirts in front of everyone they know?

Yeah, we have a lot to figure out. But, in the meantime, I like to imagine Trevor's bachelor party going a little something like this:



Except obviously they'd be singing "Go Home with Bonny Nert"...

Monday, April 18, 2011

David's Bridal... you WHORES....



What the hell is wrong with you David('s Bridal)? You say you offer 42 colors, but really... your selection kind of sucks. The color I like best you offer in precisely ONE dress style... what am I supposed to do with that? Not all of my girls want to look like chaste Audrey Hepburn circa 1954... I'm fairly certain they'd all prefer to get laid or at least look like they COULD get laid if they wanted to. And the other colors... I just don't know what I'm supposed to do. I'm not putting my bitches in something called "Malibu" because none of them are named Barbie. And yet, though I find dresses by other designers that I like better, I feel like Jake Gyllenhaal... I can't quit you. You're affordable, you bitches... and your dresses are not thoroughly ridiculous. I mean, really.

Though, there's something to be said for the thoroughly ridiculous. And so, IGP, I give you Simone Carvalli...

What. The. Fuck.




So, I said green and blue, but... aren't you glad I love you?

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Thinking Aloud: Part One of Many


I want my girls to be happy. I want them to be comfortable in what they're wearing, feel like they look good in it, and be willing to get drunk and get down in it. I also want them to be able to afford the damn thing. And, while I love them dearly, I also want to be happy with the dress(es) myself... I want to look at them all and feel like we are one, big, satisfied, gorgeous bunch of bitches. My color scheme AT THE MOMENT (such things change, you know) is a bit unsettled. Here are the facts:

1. My most favored color at the moment is a proper peacock blue. This is the color my mother's bridesmaids wore and I think it is very, very pretty.
2. This is not an easy color to find, apparently. Or not as easy as you'd think, anyway.
3. I'd like for my girls to be able to wear the dresses again; to that end, I'd prefer to avoid satin and it's evil fabric relatives.
4. I want multiple dress options for my girls... so each can wear the dress they like best for themselves.
5. If the blue ain't gonna work, I want green. Perhaps even multiple greens. Not necessarily kelly green, but something pleasant and inoffensive. Hmm... Or multiple matching blues, actually, if of the peacock variety...

Thus, the above picture. I'm not saying I like the dresses (which are NOT fabulous); I'm saying I like the concept. I really like the idea of having the brightly colored, fun shoes. Being a fan of shoes and a fan of fun, I'd prefer not to have my girls stuck in miserably practical black strappy things. Ergo, I like the bright, fun shoes, especially as matched with bright, fun bouquets. And, as it's a July wedding, the dresses will not be floor length and the shoes will be sandalish. If the group doesn't like the bright colored shoe thing, we're going metallic, FYI. And by metallic, read: silver. Silver and strappy.

So jealous... y'all get to wear a color... I'm stuck in white. Though I'm totally going to have fun colored shoes... and strappy...

Welcome, Gown Posse... Let's Do This Thang.



Once upon a time, I got engaged. As in, ENGAGED. There's a ring and it's ON MY FINGER. So weird. SO wonderful! But so fucking weird. I have jokingly talked about "when I get married" for about half my life and, at the ripe old age of 33, I was fairly certain it wasn't going to happen for me... too independent... way too fucking single... you know how it is. But shortly after turning 33, I was reunited with a very dear old friend and, BAM! Love. Followed by, BAM! Engagement. So, here I am, 34, planning a wedding, working in a job that is miles away from all of the people who are most dear to me... those who will play the most important roles in this wedding. What's a girl to do? Start another goddamn blog, obviously.

I have selected my bridesmaids... my "Insane Gown Posse," as I have deemed them (and as I have titled this blog). All five of them are incredibly important to me in various and sundry ways. Two of them know who they are; three do not as yet. The two who do live far, far away in exotic places like Tucson, Arizona and Chicago, Illinois... I couldn't exactly ask them in person, so Facebook and email had to do (sorry JennyJune and Erika). The three who don't know yet... well, they live in places not quite so far away. My hope is to be able to ask them in person at some point in the next couple months. One's in Cincinnati, one's in Columbus, and one's in Pittsburgh. So here, y'all, is proof that I've wanted you since Day One.

These five women represent different times and stages of my life. Two have known me since grade school, two were my sorority sisters, and one came into my life as I worked on my Masters degree. They are the very best friends I have, the most supportive and encouraging people I know, and some of the funniest mofos you will ever meet. Thus, Insane Gown Posse.

I've created this blog as a forum for the vetting of my wedding plans and ideas... I'm also going to use it to vent and to consider all the ridiculousness of planning a wedding. Right now, it's looking like the wedding will take place in July of 2012, over a year from now. No date has been set in stone yet, though. That's what the month of May is for... figuring shit out. In the meantime, I give you a new blog from a wedding-planning Wingal. If y'all run across information, pictures, ideas, etc. that you would like to share with me, Facebook message or email them to me (if you know me, you know how to get in touch with me) and I will post them up on here so that one and all can share in the conversation.

I make no promises... I may reject your ideas and I may keep my own that y'all have rejected; my wedding, my prerogative. But the exchange of ideas and the moral support... THOSE are the things I'm most wanting out of this blog. So, share, bitches!

And let the music play, Posse...